Blah..

I don't usually get three days off a week, but due to the painfully slow days we've been having at work, I had to cut back hours, including my own. So I had today off as well. I took full advantage by sleeping till noon. Granted I was up until 3:30. I picked up the car from my mom and myself and Tyler went grocery shopping. When you first live on your own, you can't fathom how much a grocery bill can cost. We usually spend 230$ every, two weeks. That's a lot of 'effing money! Fuck the global economy and 6$ Pineapples. 

You Never Notice...

I'd say it's about time to get out of the comfy groove I've made for myself and accomplish more. Instead of just simply coasting by, which I so willingly have done as of late, I want to actually do something. Maybe even exceed expectations. It's time to take more pictures, see more people, make more friends, show more love to people. I guess you could call it a resolution if you believe in that stuff, I don't. 

Also, my weekly resolution, is to stand up straighter. Man, I'm such a hunchback.

Backend Of Forever

I don't know where to begin. I've had this window open on my screen for a solid twenty minutes and I really have no idea where to begin or what to say, but I've just had this sudden urge to write my thoughts down.

I've been spending my evenings cleaning. Organizing. Decorating. Planning. I read somewhere that if you live in a place that is disorganized, your life will be unorganized. But if you live in a nice tidy place, your life will follow suit. So that's what I'm doing I guess. I'm such a pack rat, it's sick. But I can't justify giving away a 250$ shirt just because I've never worn it. I suppose I never should have bought that shirt in the first place if I never planned to wear it. But I'm an impulse/emotional shopper. Sue me. So even though my feet swelled because of standing all day and half my shoes don't fit anymore, I still pray that one day they will. Because I love them. I really do. 

Anyway, I want to get my life back on track. We bought a treadmill and I barely even use it (oops!). So I'm going to do that more (hopefully). And I noticed something that really scared me. Someone over Christmas whom I've never met before asked me what I did. And I replied, "Oh, I'm a manager at Fruits & Passion." Granted, I AM a manager at Fruits & Passion... but that's not what I do. And the fact that that's my answer to that question now scares the fuck out of me. That's what pays my bills. But that's not what I do. I'm supposed to be a make-up artist. So that's what I need to do. I need to get back into it. I've got lost along the way of bills and rent but I need to get back to what I love doing.

I don't think I'll ever understand the hype around the New Year. Maybe next year I'll pretend I'm really psyched and wear a sparkly dress and drink champagne and wear stupid 2010 glasses and a headband that says Happy New Year. But probably not. 2008 ruled, I'm ready to do it again.

This Good Night Is Still Everywhere

Life is shitty and unproductive lately. It seems all I do is work. Blah. Which does indeed suck, considering I hate my job. Insane christmas shoppers also doesn't help me feel any better. I can't wait until the holidays are over and done with and everyone is too cheap to shop. I haven't even finished my Christmas shopping. I was planning to do some today, but the coolant hose in the Jetta has seemingly exploded. Therefore, rendering me housebound all day. UGH! Worst case scenerio. Also, that means I have to BUS tomorrow, in -43! UGH! Eff my life. Why do I live in Winnipeg? Honestly... Sometimes i just want to get up and move to Australia and live there forever. But alas, they have big scary spiders.

 

2008

A meme, of sorts, received through email:

What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Live on my own. Had a baby kitty. Became a manager. It's been a year of first's for me.

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any last year. But I'm not one for keeping promises so...

What countries did you visit?
None. Boo!

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More money? Hah. A car? Double hah. 

What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 4th - The day me and Tyler flew home from Toronto and I was finally happy.

March 27th - The day we got Sabu.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating from Makeup school, I guess.

What was your biggest failure?
Not having a job for 2 months? 

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just a bad cold.

What was the best thing you bought?
Sabu!

Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses; probably lunches at work.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving home.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
None, really.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Definitely happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Eh, probably the same.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I would've taken more photos.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being depressed.

Did you fall in love in 2008?
No.

How many one-night stands?
None.

What was your favorite TV program?
ANTM.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes.

What was the best book you read?
No idea.

What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Hm.. I didn't discover anything new, but I've been obsessed with the new Thrice albums.

What did you want and get?
A kitten. A great apartment in Osborne.

What was your favorite film of this year?
No idea.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 20. Went for sushi with the fam. That's about it.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having to work so much.

What kept you sane?
My kitten.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Sienna Miller.

Who did you miss?
A lot of people. 

Who was the best new person you met?
Hands down, Rebecca. My rock through school. She kept me relatively sane.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Things happen for a reason and it may not be the reason you thought it would be. You can try to plan your life, but ultimately, all you can do is roll with the punches.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

'But I'll sail as long as I still have breath in me'

Exhaustion

I'm so exhausted with life lately. I hate working retail at Christmas. Seriously. I come home everyday from work at 5pm ready for bed. How sad is that? I can't muster up the energy to clean my apartment, which sadly looks like a tornado crashed through it. I barely use my exercise bike because I'd probably fall over if I even attempted that. I don't know how to fix this either. I can't cut my shifts back. That's not an option. I'm sure a large part of it as well is my not eating meat. I take my B12 pills, but I feel no effect. I don't know. Hopefully when Christmas is over I'll feel better. I'll be able to unwind.